I love this picture so much. I took it in my basement while we were setting up for a few days of tracking. Milt was so enthusiastic about it, he just loved to play and record; really the whole creative process.  And although I know he loved working in world class studios I think he particularly loved sessions like this one where you’re forced to find a way to get it done without all the tools you might like to have.  He really shined in that environment and he was truly gifted at it.  I’m so fortunate to have worked with Milt so much over the years.  We made three of my own records together and he played on a collaboration I did with Joseph Parsons (photo is from those sessions).  We also spent a lot of time on the road together, logging a lot of miles both here in the States and in Europe. I fondly remember the many late night hotel room conversations and the long hours in the van discussing everything from philosophy and religion to what makes a good bordeaux.  But it’s the music I remember most and performing on stage with Milt night after night was a joy.  It felt both safe and dangerous to me in the best possible sense.  Never quite the same, always fresh and new; I loved that about him. Of course work quickly turned to friendship and truly it’s that friendship that I hold most dearly.  I would gladly trade every note Milt ever played for me for that friendship alone.  I love him still and will miss him very, very much.  Rest in peace my friend.

I’ve been trying to finish some songs lately and feel like I’m stumbling with the lyrics.   I’ve got a bunch of musical ideas that I really like; things that are in what I’d call “song form”, just waiting for the words that will complete them.  Usually that’s how it goes for me, I’ll rarely sit down thinking I’m going to write about “this”.  Instead I try to let the song reveal itself to me and in most cases it tells me what it wants to be about.  I’m sure that sounds kind of passive, but for me songwriting is like a combination of stone sculpting and putting together a puzzle.  In some ways you just keep chipping away and refining the raw idea until you find the final shape that’s waiting inside.  Then like a puzzle you try different pieces, both musically and lyrically until you’ve got a finished picture that you like.

Of course it’s never a uniform process, each song is unique and comes together in it’s own way.  Sometimes there are songs that fall in your lap and just happen.  They come to you almost fully formed with seemingly very little effort. I think most writers would tell you that those tend to be your best songs.  Those are the ones you live for.  Johanna’s Dreams is that kind of song for me.  I think I wrote the whole thing within twenty minutes or a half an hour.  It’s a powerful experience when that happens.

Most of the time however songwriting is work for me, albeit work that I love to do.  And inevitably I’ll hit spots like this where I’m struggling to figure out just what it is that I want to say, or how to say something that’s been said a hundred times before in some new and fresh way.  It can get frustrating and even scary at times.  You wonder if you’ll ever get through it.  But I try to remember that I’ve been here before, right where I’m sitting now and I’ve always found a way through.  I’ve gotta believe that’ll happen again.  So I’ll keep chipping away and see where it takes me.

What is it about a rainy day that makes me want to just grab a book and stretch out on the couch when I have so much that I should get done today? I actually like a good rainy day every now and then, and after the Summer we’ve been having here in the northeast it’s a nice change of pace. Fortunately I don’t have to be anywhere today and my plan is to spend the day in my studio. If I had to get out and travel in this weather I’m sure I’d feel differently about it, but today it’s kind of nice.

I like that “tucked in” feeling that a rainy day can give you. And the sound of the rain falling is something I’ve always loved. I actually have a program on my ipod touch that I use when I travel. I think it’s called “Ambiance”. It has all of these looped recordings of various “soothing” sounds. Things that are supposed to help you sleep. I usually go for the “falling rain” sounds and sometimes it even works (getting enough sleep on the road isn’t always easy….). Nothing like the real thing though. The rain was coming down pretty steadily last night as I was going to sleep; knocked me right out. It was nice.

Well, I better get to the studio before the couch and my book win out. But honestly, I love recording on days like today so it’s no real sacrifice; I’m looking forward to it. Hope you enjoy the day wherever you are. Off to work –

Today I’m working on a track that is near and dear to my heart. About five years ago I was on tour in Germany with my band and we had just finished our show at a great club in Hannover called The Blues Garage. A young girl came up to me after the set, in her early 20′s at that point, dressed in motorcycle gear and looking very excited. She introduced herself and told me that her dad had recommended she check out my music; he thought she’d like it. So on this particular evening she had decided to hop on her bike and ride from Hamburg to Hannover to attend our show. Being a motorcycle enthusiast myself, I thought that was pretty cool. Thankfully she really liked the show and I gained a fan that night, but more importantly over the months and years that followed I gained a really good friend as well.

Sadly not long after I met Katja she was diagnosed with a terrible cancer, a cancer that ultimately took her life. She fought very hard and bravely for a very long time, but ultimately she just couldn’t overcome it. Earlier this year Katja passed away. Much too soon, much too young.

Those of us who were lucky enough to know Katja are left with memories of a girl who never gave up, never seemed to lose hope, was always positive and smiling and glad to be alive. She’s one of the bravest people I think I’ll ever meet. I’m sure that Katja had her bad days, anyone in her position would. But through it all, she never stopped “living” her life. She just kept going forward, day by day. She taught us a lot about what’s possible in the face of adversity and I only hope that I can find the same courage and grace that she showed when life puts me to the test.

I wrote a song for Katja after she passed and I asked some of her friends to contribute to the recording of the song. Everyone submitted beautiful parts and now it’s up to me to do the final mix and send it off to Blue Rose Records for a compilation release they’re doing. It’s been one of the toughest mixes I’ve ever had to do; I think because I just want it to be perfect.

So that’s where I’m off to now. Off to mix Katja’s Song. Wish me luck. We miss you Katja.

Take Care,
Todd

Played three shows in a row this week and loved it (one was a private house concert in VT and wasn’t listed on the site). Just haven’t been playing enough over the past few months. Felt good to get back out there, dust off some old songs and try out a few new ones as well. Audiences were great and responsive, which always makes you feel good as an artist. My sincere thanks to all of you who came out to the shows. And for those of you who weren’t familiar with my music and picked up a CD, thanks for the support. Hope you enjoy it. Off now to do some mixing on a new track I’ve been working on. Thanks for checking in.